Sharing a small part of The Arbinger Institute book “The Outward Mindset.” This book, along with “Leadership and Self Deception” and “The Anatomy of Peace,” have become staples in my “read, re-read” book collection. They are life-changing, and I hope you check them out.

We were worried about ourselves because we were seeing the customer relationship backward. We were nervous because we needed the company’s money, and we were afraid that if we didn’t nail this presentation, the committee wouldn’t give us any. The objective in our minds was our own, not our customer’s.

Thankfully, someone in our group recognized what was going on, and he called us on it. “Hey,” he said, “This might be the only time we ever get to spend with them and with this company. What if we stay focused on being as helpful to them as we can be during these two hours?”

In retrospect, winning this contract probably was essential to Arbinger’s survival in the early days of our existence. The irony is that our company benefited only when we took our minds off of our company benefiting. We would have helped neither the client nor ourselves if we had continued with an inward mindset.